New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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