Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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