I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Someone signed my nipple.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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