party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
