"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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