i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
