I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
