uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
