How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
