worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
