well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What changed your mind?
Being sober
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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