You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
