Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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