What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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