Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
