i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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