I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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