we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
