i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
