Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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