the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
