I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
