I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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