I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love black thongs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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