I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
