FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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