I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
