question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
