we have officially lost it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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