That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
