Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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