I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
