i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
