You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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