Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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