I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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