Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
