What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
