I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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