butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
