It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Someone came in the potted fern
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
