we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
