he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
