but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
