I'm drive I can fine osifer
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
