when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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