I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
