I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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