**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it glows. i had to have it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just googled if crying burns calories
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
