I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
