whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
