I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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