Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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