This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
