Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
