Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
