90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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