how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
