He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
